Uncle Billy decided to open up his own private detective service. He had always loved watching detective movies and the exciting lives those PI's led. He had the idea that in the movies an investigator could find out everything needed to solve a case in a short time. Billy liked that aspect best because that left a lot of time for beer drinking in the evening. Following shady characters who always met with their cohorts in bars or restaurants was an added bonus. That way he could eat and drink on the customer's dime.
Uncle Billy opened his office on the edge of the downtown area. His first day he arrived and had to admire seeing his name in big bold letters on the door. He took off his suit jacket and patted his trusty .38 caliber in the new shoulder holster he had just purchased. The smooth leather gave him a big boost knowing this was the start of a new and exciting career for him. He opened his morning paper and scanned for the advertisement he had placed the day before. Billy was excited seeing how nice the ad was.
One week later uncle Billy had sat in his office for 14 hours every day. The phone never rang and not one soul had entered his office. Billy was discouraged. He was not sleeping well after spending his days drinking his terrible coffee the whole day long. That day he had brought along a hip flask filled with his favorite Irish whiskey, only to sweeten his horrific tasting coffee mind you. Late that evening Billy was just about to close the office when a young and stunning blond walked in his door. She asked if uncle Billy could help her? After Billy's eyes popped back into his head he tried to be as cool as he could be under the circumstances. He asked her what he could do? She said her husband was possibly cheating on her and could he do surveillance on her husband? Uncle Billy said he sure could do that.
The blond gave him information including a picture of her husband, where he worked and where she thought he might be out gallivanting on nights when he was supposedly working late. Two days later she called Billy to tell him her husband had called and said he would be working late that night. Uncle Billy filled his flask and an extra one for his stakeout. Billy was waiting outside the suspect husband's office that evening, carrying his brand new camera with a telephoto lens. The husband left and uncle Billy followed him to a bar nearby and when the suspect went in Billy followed shortly after. The husband was in fact seeing another gorgeous woman. The husband was constantly looking about, not wanting his secret to get out and noticed Billy at the bar nursing the same drink for far too long. Billy left the bar and went to his car so he could use his camera to get a few shots of the man and his girlfriend as they left together.
Uncle Billy was new to this detective business and was parked too close to the husband's car. The husband saw the huge telephoto lens and saw Billy behind it. He watched as Billy followed them to the hotel. Once inside, the husband made a phone call to some gentlemen whom he employed for just this circumstance. Those same men drove over to the hotel and stealthily came up behind Billy's car. Billy had by that time had a bit too much to drink out of his flasks. The men yanked open the car door and pulled Billy out of the car, throttled him badly, broke his new camera and removed the film package, leaving Billy lying in the street. Uncle Billy was lying there when a police car rolled up and stopped. They called an ambulance for Billy and went on about their business. The next morning a police detective went to Billy's room and asked him some questions, but Billy had no idea of who the men were, so the detective left empty-handed and uncle Billy was on his own. He had no evidence of the night before with his camera gone. He was soon off the case and the wife would not pay him for no results. Billy did learn from his experience and as soon as he was released from the hospital he went back to his office waiting for another case.
A week later another woman came into his office with the same situation. He took the case and was sure he would score this time. Uncle Billy did do very well on his second case and gave the woman everything she needed to go to court and file for divorce with a big pile of cash against her husband's assets. Uncle Billy was there to give testimony and thought this was going to be a lead-pipe cinch. What he didn't count on was the wealthy man's lawyers and connections with the judge. After a week in the courtroom the judge threw out the case on a technicality and left uncle Billy with a small sum for his hours spent gathering his evidence. The woman gave him a check for his time spent, but then the check bounced because the husband had closed his wife's checking account.
Well that was enough detective work for uncle Billy. He closed his door at the office and never went back. He did receive several calls after that, but he was not going to go through those experiences again and maybe walk away with nothing.
Copyright Bill Weber 2006-2026 and beyond.
Uncle Billy opened his office on the edge of the downtown area. His first day he arrived and had to admire seeing his name in big bold letters on the door. He took off his suit jacket and patted his trusty .38 caliber in the new shoulder holster he had just purchased. The smooth leather gave him a big boost knowing this was the start of a new and exciting career for him. He opened his morning paper and scanned for the advertisement he had placed the day before. Billy was excited seeing how nice the ad was.
One week later uncle Billy had sat in his office for 14 hours every day. The phone never rang and not one soul had entered his office. Billy was discouraged. He was not sleeping well after spending his days drinking his terrible coffee the whole day long. That day he had brought along a hip flask filled with his favorite Irish whiskey, only to sweeten his horrific tasting coffee mind you. Late that evening Billy was just about to close the office when a young and stunning blond walked in his door. She asked if uncle Billy could help her? After Billy's eyes popped back into his head he tried to be as cool as he could be under the circumstances. He asked her what he could do? She said her husband was possibly cheating on her and could he do surveillance on her husband? Uncle Billy said he sure could do that.
The blond gave him information including a picture of her husband, where he worked and where she thought he might be out gallivanting on nights when he was supposedly working late. Two days later she called Billy to tell him her husband had called and said he would be working late that night. Uncle Billy filled his flask and an extra one for his stakeout. Billy was waiting outside the suspect husband's office that evening, carrying his brand new camera with a telephoto lens. The husband left and uncle Billy followed him to a bar nearby and when the suspect went in Billy followed shortly after. The husband was in fact seeing another gorgeous woman. The husband was constantly looking about, not wanting his secret to get out and noticed Billy at the bar nursing the same drink for far too long. Billy left the bar and went to his car so he could use his camera to get a few shots of the man and his girlfriend as they left together.
Uncle Billy was new to this detective business and was parked too close to the husband's car. The husband saw the huge telephoto lens and saw Billy behind it. He watched as Billy followed them to the hotel. Once inside, the husband made a phone call to some gentlemen whom he employed for just this circumstance. Those same men drove over to the hotel and stealthily came up behind Billy's car. Billy had by that time had a bit too much to drink out of his flasks. The men yanked open the car door and pulled Billy out of the car, throttled him badly, broke his new camera and removed the film package, leaving Billy lying in the street. Uncle Billy was lying there when a police car rolled up and stopped. They called an ambulance for Billy and went on about their business. The next morning a police detective went to Billy's room and asked him some questions, but Billy had no idea of who the men were, so the detective left empty-handed and uncle Billy was on his own. He had no evidence of the night before with his camera gone. He was soon off the case and the wife would not pay him for no results. Billy did learn from his experience and as soon as he was released from the hospital he went back to his office waiting for another case.
A week later another woman came into his office with the same situation. He took the case and was sure he would score this time. Uncle Billy did do very well on his second case and gave the woman everything she needed to go to court and file for divorce with a big pile of cash against her husband's assets. Uncle Billy was there to give testimony and thought this was going to be a lead-pipe cinch. What he didn't count on was the wealthy man's lawyers and connections with the judge. After a week in the courtroom the judge threw out the case on a technicality and left uncle Billy with a small sum for his hours spent gathering his evidence. The woman gave him a check for his time spent, but then the check bounced because the husband had closed his wife's checking account.
Well that was enough detective work for uncle Billy. He closed his door at the office and never went back. He did receive several calls after that, but he was not going to go through those experiences again and maybe walk away with nothing.
Copyright Bill Weber 2006-2026 and beyond.
