On July 4th of 1776 the Second Continental Congress adopted July 4th as Independence Day.
I assume that is the reason for all the fireworks on the 4th of July. When I was a boy, I loved getting firecrackers for the fourth of July. I enjoyed setting them off and blowing up my toy soldiers.
During the Vietnam war, I was aboard the USS Kitty Hawk. My job was keeping radios and navigation equipment working so my squadron planes could direct bombers where to blast away North Vietnamese soldiers and Vietcong soldiers and their equipment. I also helped move bombs and place them into magazines so they could be stored for future use against our enemies in Vietnam. I never gave my part in the war any thought at all. It was my duty.
The years after my time in service is when I began thinking about what I had done. That has plagued me for decades now. I never directly killed anyone, but I helped enable those who did and I feel guilty about my small part in the war. I did my duty and the soldiers on the ground did their duty. We served our country. Many of our soldiers on the ground have been deeply affected by their part in the war. Far more affected than I am. I grieve for them.
Since the end of Vietnam, I no longer enjoy the fireworks on the 4th. I refuse to be a part of them and I despise hearing them.
In 1814 the battle of Fort McHenry was the inspiration for our national anthem. The British shelled the Americans defending Fort McHenry all night long. The next morning our flag was still flying. Frances Scott Key wrote a poem about the battle and the poem became the song the Star Spangled Banner .
Those of us who have never gone to war will understand the duty you feel or the guilt over loss of life.
ReplyDeleteSharon, This guilt has been on my mind for a long time. It may never go away. I know my part was small in the scope of things. I hope it will go away at some point. It was my duty at that time and I didn't question it then. I pray the Lord will forgive me.
DeleteBill