230510 OTTO

OTTO is the title of a movie I watched yesterday. The movie on Netflix was, in many ways, the story of my life.

Those of you who know me well and have read my posts may recognize the similarity. The movie stars Tom Hanks. While I am no Tom Hanks, he portrays a character that is, was, me. Otto meets the girl of his dreams by chance. She is to him the most beautiful creature that ever walked the Earth. They have no money, but they soon get married anyway. When Joyce and I got married I bought our rings in the navy exchange. Her’s cost $8, mine was a larger size so it cost $9. As I said, we had no money. Otto’s bride was killed in an accident far too early, while my bride died of an aneurysm far too early for me. Otto is obsessed with all the things stupid people do and he tries to make up for that. He is frustrated with some of his neighbors with their dumping of trash, and they're not following established rules as I am. Otto tries to commit suicide but every time he tries something prevents his demise. I have never given a thought to suicide, so those parts of the movie do not mirror me. Otto is despondent over things, I have been there many times. My doctor once asked me if I ever considered suicide, to which I replied, “Never on my worst day did I consider that.” Otto is obsessive, compulsive as I am. He has his daily routine he follows while living alone and in silence, as I live these days. He tries to help those he can, as I have always tried to do. His salvation comes in his meeting of a new neighbor. I met a new neighbor perhaps a month or so after my Joyce passed away, my neighbor has helped me tremendously in my life. This neighbor has become my sounding board, my counselor and a needed friend. A friend in need is a friend indeed. We have coffee, we talk and share some food at times. I can speak out loud instead of having my thoughts in my head. Speaking aloud is much better because it brings more clarity when I hear myself saying it. Hearing my voice aloud, I realize how some of the things I obsess over are dumb. Otto’s friend in the movie saved him, my friend has been a Godsend to me at the time I needed a friend whom I trust.

I hope this post is reasonably clear to others as it seems in my head. I probably should have taken better notes as the movie unfolded. Someone smarter than me once said, “Our lives are like a movie. The movie is already written and is on the reel of the video. The past, the present and the future are already there. We have to experience the movie to get to the ending.” I believe God has the plan for our lives before we are born. Our free will may take us off track at times, but in the end, we will be on the tracks to the end of the line.