220220 Sentinel, Today

Today is the first day of the rest of my life.
The sun will come up soon and I will be happy for a warm day.
I have food to eat, beer to drink, a few dollars in my pocket and I have love to share with others. How could this not be a good day?

I spent a major part of my life being unhappy and complaining about things to myself and often to others. That never worked well for me and for those around me.

When Joyce passed away, my life changed dramatically. She was the best thing in my life. Now I am working to be the man I should have always been, but was too stupid to realize how much I had missed by being sullen for so many years. I often had a snide comment about things said by other people or had been done by them. One of the last things Joyce did for me was to make me realize that was not a healthy thing to do. Now she is gone, but I hope somehow she will know what she did for me.

If I could go back in time I would change my life from what I was then into what I have become now. Joyce deserved better than what she got from me. I was not acting the way I did on purpose; it was my habit that became her problem at times. For that I am sorry and I wish I had been different than I was.

My grandfather told me one time, “If wishes were horses, beggars could ride.” He was a wise man. All I can do now, with the grace of God, is to be a better man in the time I have left in this world. Someone, I know not who, said, “Confession is good for the soul.” This morning I feel better now after writing this and making my confession.