2109 Sentinel, Letter to Joyce #6

Dear Joyce,

The picture above is Joyce holding Hailey, grandma Mickey is center and Annie is on the right side. The picture was taken 11 days after Hailey was born. Grandma was always big on 4 generation pictures.

I watched a movie today. The title was “Message in a Bottle.” I wanted to get my mind on something other than pining for you Joyce. The movie listed Kevin Costner and of all people, Paul Newman so I figured it had to be worth watching. I wondered how Newman was in a movie anymore because he died this month in 2008. I found out the movie was made in 1999. I also discovered out it was of all things possible, about a sailor, Costner (actual sail powered schooner) who lost the love of his life and could not get over his losing her. It was not a particularly good choice for me at this time, but the movie was good.

I’ll never get over losing you and I can accept that. I hope that I can once again speak your name without getting all choked up. One of our last days together you said, “We are done with the past and now we are only looking forward to the future.” I am working toward doing just that as far as my daily routine goes, but here’s the thing, a writer writes best what he knows and has experienced. I don’t know the future; all I know is the present moment and what has already happened.

I look over at your bed every morning, still hoping to see you or the mass of twisted sheet and blanket you leave when you get up before me. Your body is gone, but your spirit is always with me.

With all my love,

Bill