Uncle Billy rarely goes shopping for anything but beer. His wife usually goes by herself for clothes and groceries, but uncle Billy was exceptionally low on beer so he made the trip by himself.
Uncle Billy called me and had to tell me about what happened at Walmart. He asked, "do you ever go to Walmart?"
"Yes I do uncle Billy," I replied.
"Do you ever see them wacky folks there?"
"My Walmart is pretty tame," I answered.
"Well I was there and they was some crazy look'in folks there a shop'in. They was a freak'in me out. I done grabbed my beer an headed for the door. Out in tha park'in lot they was more headed in. An it took me a while ta get them 6 cases a beer in my truck, an as I got inta the truck they was one a back'in up at me. I fired up tha truck an layed on ma horn button, but they was still back'in up an gettin ever closer; I slammed tha truck inta reverse an hit tha gas ta get away an when I did that some asshole a slammed inta my back quarter panel on tha truck!"
"Was anyone hurt?" I asked.
"Na, not me anyways. They was a squawk'in though. They says look what you done ta my nice car. I says back, your car is noth'in more an a pile a crap. Well that's when tha fight started, even though they's car was a pile a crap."
"Did you get hurt?" I asked.
"Na, that ole tire iron did put a few lumps on them two though. Say while I got ya on the phone, can you come bail me out?"
"City jail uncle Billy?"
"Yep!"
"I'm on my way."
"Youse a good nephew Bill."
Copyright Bill Weber 2019 and beyond.
"Yes I do uncle Billy," I replied.
"Do you ever see them wacky folks there?"
"My Walmart is pretty tame," I answered.
"Well I was there and they was some crazy look'in folks there a shop'in. They was a freak'in me out. I done grabbed my beer an headed for the door. Out in tha park'in lot they was more headed in. An it took me a while ta get them 6 cases a beer in my truck, an as I got inta the truck they was one a back'in up at me. I fired up tha truck an layed on ma horn button, but they was still back'in up an gettin ever closer; I slammed tha truck inta reverse an hit tha gas ta get away an when I did that some asshole a slammed inta my back quarter panel on tha truck!"
"Was anyone hurt?" I asked.
"Na, not me anyways. They was a squawk'in though. They says look what you done ta my nice car. I says back, your car is noth'in more an a pile a crap. Well that's when tha fight started, even though they's car was a pile a crap."
"Did you get hurt?" I asked.
"Na, that ole tire iron did put a few lumps on them two though. Say while I got ya on the phone, can you come bail me out?"
"City jail uncle Billy?"
"Yep!"
"I'm on my way."
"Youse a good nephew Bill."
Copyright Bill Weber 2019 and beyond.
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