The 2020 Election

I have decided to run for the presidency in 2020. In the interest of transparency I will state the names of my staff and cabinet members long before the election. My vice president will be Ted, my old friend from the San Diego days. Ted is an excellent electrical engineer and economist. By 2021 it will be “Bill and Ted’s excellent White House.” Ted doesn’t drink so he will handle all the economic and foreign relations duties, while I will host members of congress and the senate for noon-hour beer and cocktail gatherings.

Back in the nineties, FOB (friends of Bill) was a tag used about Bill Clinton’s appointees. I like that tag, but I am the Bill of 2020 so the new FOB will be people who have the right experience for the jobs they are picked for in my administration.

My first lady, Joyce (who has had monumental parties and holiday occasions and knows how to cook big) will insure the seating arrangements are set so each democrat is seated beside a republican and everyone talks to each other. Joyce’s staff will include Jacques Pepin (world-famous chef) to help in supervising the preparation of foods. Summer time will be BBQ on the White House lawn with republicans and democrats and their families, only family and fun talk will be allowed. There will be a strict dress code for the BBQ, no ties, no suits, no shined shoes. Once folks get to know each other it’s much tougher to build a wall between the parties, congress will be happy then and will work to ensure things will be accomplished.

"The world will be a better place for you and me, just wait and see. Think of your fellow man; give him a helping hand, put a little love in your heart."

All of my appointees (listed below) will be experienced in the positions I choose for them. Starting out, my friend Tracy from Oregon to be secretary of state as he has traveled to many parts of the world and understands how to work with people.

My friend Dave from New Hampshire, who has been in naval aviation and aboard ships will be secretary of the navy.

My friend Alex from Indianapolis will be on the White House staff. He is an engineer and is into robotics, which I will use for serving drinks during the noon-hour cocktail parties in the oval office. He is also very good at card tricks, so he will be at White House dinners.

My friend Lynda will be the head of the EPA as she has been on the front lines at many protests over environmental issues. Her Husband Al will be the transportation secretary as he has been a trucker all his life and can back a 53 foot trailer into a dock with 6 inches on either side and do it at 20 mph.

My Daughter Annie will be attorney general as she can spot a rat at 30 yards and can argue any case, anytime, anywhere. My son-in-law Rhett will be in the federal highway department as he has experience with the Missouri highway department and knows all about that sort of thing.

My friend Jesse from Oklahoma will be the head of the federal reserve with all her experience at managing casino banks that have extracted money from me over the years.

My friend Macy will be my ambassador to California, because she loves San Diego, and Coronado and the fact that California will secede from the US by 2020 and become the world’s 7th largest economy.

My friend John A, from Springfield will be appointed as the liaison to the arts community as he has a tremendous love for great art and shares it with me all of the time.

My friend Bill C from Springfield will be the head of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms. He doesn’t smoke, doesn’t use firearms (at least not to my knowledge) but he will make America a Shultz & Dooley’s party all the time and Bill has a way with the young ladies and who doesn’t like young ladies?

My granddaughter Hailey will split her time between the arts council and the department of education. She is still in school and knows what is going on, on the ground. Her art will, if I have anything to do with it, will be in the national galleries.

My nephew Patrick will be my secretary of the army. He has army experience across the world, Korea, Panama, England, Germany, France, Iraq, Afghanistan, other places I have forgotten, army forts all over the country and Fort Drum, New York which was the least dangerous, but so damn cold. He served in combat, and as a recruiter (he knows how to negotiate) took airborne training (how crazy is that? Any man who can jump out of a perfectly good airplane has got a set!)

My grand-nephew Cavin will be the head of the federal prison system. He has had experience in Missouri’s high-security prisons (as a guard, not a prisoner). It could be I could get him to locate his headquarters at the Springfield federal medical center, he could go with us from the Missouri White House to the Oklahoma and Kansas casinos. I figure we can cut down transit time with the helicopter. I would not want to waste money using the presidential jet, just the helicopter would be fine.

My friend Kelly (Maintenance Man Superhero) from Litton will be the head of homeland security because he has always fought for truth, justice, the American way and equal heating and air-conditioning for all.

My friend Bill T (Maintenance Man’s Apprentice) at Litton will aid Maintenance man and advise in any Russian security issues. Bill knows how sneaky those Rooskies can be after having imported some of his now famous Dneper motorcycles from them.

My friend Audie from Springfield would be commandant of the Coast Guard, again he has experience on the coast and he is a great leader, oh what the hell, if he wants, I would appoint him to the Chief of Naval Operations.

My friend Cal, from Maine will be an ambassador to the far east as he made many friends and influenced people there when we served in the navy. Did I mention I am a navy veteran? I served my country during its hour of need. I did not avoid the draft, unlike so many other presidential candidates have or may have in the 2020 election.

My friend Dale, reliability engineer and ex-boss from Litton will be on my ethics committee, because he is a very reliable guy and he knows a lot of big words to use in meetings or speeches.

My friend Dave, from Litton (also one of my ex-bosses who also lived 3 blocks away in the old childhood neighborhood) will also have a position in the justice department because he was always fair and honest with me when we worked together.

My friend Steve from Litton will be appointed to a federal judge position after all of his fair decisions as an umpire (you cannot get any more fair than that.)

My friend Deanna from the Litton days will be appointed to health and human services director. She has been through the mill with health services and is one of the most humane humans on this earth, but no pit bulls in the White House; she will have to put them on “K” street and hopefully take out a few pesky lobbyists.

My friend Isabel will be my ambassador to Mexico. She knows business (actually teaches at a local college) she knows the language and is a genuine arbitrator.

My cousin-in-law James S from Saint Louis will have his pick of jobs in the administration. He has military experience, healthcare experience, sales and business experience and he has been around a lot of this world, maybe state department?

My friend John S from the old days on Guam was an electronic tech so I think he might be my liaison with Silicon Valley.

My friend Kathy who owns the Ash Tree Antiques in Ash Grove will be my secretary of commerce, she has always been an entrepreneur, she knows business and how to make it work.

My long-time friend Kevin from California (a true Californicator), a Software Project Manager, will be the head of cyber security, he knows how to figure out the myriad of Windows security issues and all of the other Windows things that drive me crazy. He may also hire his son Matt who has a wealth of hacking experience and should be a lot of help.

Ah, my Friend Roy from California will be the White House chief of staff as he was an excellent administrator and helped hire me into the computer room at Burroughs (so he has good judgement.)

My friend Sonia from Oklahoma will run the interior department over the bureau of land management and native affairs. She is a strong administrator and fair in all her duties.

Stephen from Oklahoma will be my trade representative. He can find and buy something on his way home from work and have it sold (at a profit) before he gets home. What more could you ask from a trade representative?

My friend Steve from Arizona will head my government oversight commission, anyone who can threaten the non-return of lab property with the penalty of death is my guy to be the oversight chairman.

My friend Michele from Litton will head up my women’s rights commission, as she is a woman and she is right about many things (won’t it be refreshing to have a woman involved in something that involves women?)

And my friend Shirley from Litton will be in the Labor Department. She has worked in factories, administration, quality assurance and she’s just an all-around nice gal and that’s what we need in government.

I hope it is perfectly clear to everyone I plan on having an administration with people in authority that are experienced in their field. I ask you the people, what more could you want in a president and his administration?