I'm Screwed

I think I am screwed. There at the fitness center this morning I was on an elliptical type machine, heart rate near my maximum of 145, going with all I had, when I looked at the dashboard and it said I would burn 220 calories in one hour. Well in 10 minutes I was all out of available energy, so I burned 37 calories.

Now, one light beer is 100 calories and I can easily drink two in a hour and two more during an afternoon, so workout =  37 calories down and afternoon = 400 calories up. That is not a winning strategy.

I just did some research calories burned while sleeping it turns out that we burn .42 calories per pound per hour when we are sleeping. That means I burn 77 calories every hour I sleep. No wonder I am tired when I wake up in the morning! With my seven hours of sleep each night I burn 539 calories.

Just sitting we burn 100 calories an hour, which is good because for every hour I sit while drinking my two beers, the calories from one of them is spent just sitting there. I think if I get some of those wrist weights to wear while I drink my beer I may be able to actually burn more calories than I consume while drinking. And this gets better, if I stand while drinking beer I burn 130 calories an hour.

So in conclusion, if I limit myself to four beers a day, that’s 400 calories a day and if I stop eating that’s zero calories a day. 400 + 0 = 400 intake. 37 calories exhausted on my morning workout, plus 539 calories burned sleeping and then 16 hours sitting at the computer or watching TV burns 1600 calories; that adds up to 2176 calories exhausted in a day. 2176 - 400 beer = 1776 so even if I ate a salad with a little dressing and two saltines  that might come to 200 calories, two cookies, 400 calories so 1776 - 600 = 1176 more calories used than consumed. Hey maybe I’m not screwed after all; I think I’ll have a frosty cold beer.