At some point in every long marriage one spouse dies, leaving the other alone. Those of you who have experienced this know well what it’s like. It takes a long time, if ever, to get over it.
One’s life changes forever. Married friends slip away slowly and you then go it alone. Everything is very different. There’s no one to sit and talk to in the morning, the afternoon and evening. No one to say goodnight to and no one to share a bed with. No one to share a daily meal with. No one to shop with either.
Some will find a new person to live with and I have no objection to that; but that’s not for me. There was a single lady friend here that came over on occasion and we would have coffee and talk, but she moved away. It was nice to have someone to talk with a couple of times a week. It would never have gone beyond that. No one could ever replace Joyce.
So here I am living a far different life than ever before. I talk out loud to myself so I don’t lose my voice. I get out and walk so I can continue having the ability to do so. I practice yoga to keep my body flexible and strong. I pray a lot more than I ever did before. I give thanks for what I have and what I had.
The 24 hours in a day are sometimes quite long, other times they fly by. Those are days when I’m busy cleaning or moving furniture around, always looking for the perfect setup. I finally have everything where it should be, so I'm done with that.
Where life goes from this point on, I don’t know what will happen. All I can do is hope for the best and prepare for the rest.
At some point I will pass away, I’m not afraid of that at all. I believe my consciousness will continue on and I’ll be with the Lord. No one really knows what that is like, but I believe it will be wonderful.
Maybe I’ll end up as a Buddhist and continue to be reincarnated and live many lives until I get everything right and finally go to Nirvana (heaven) for eternity.
The past is gone, the future, if I have one, is not yet known. That means that all I have is the present. So I'll enjoy the day.
Be safe my readers.
Brother Bill
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