Saturday, February 25, 2023

The road less traveled

My adventure on the road less traveled.

I knew it was a mistake as soon as I did it.

As I turned and started down the narrow road my stomach tightened and the pain in my head told me my blood pressure was increasing. I didn’t want to go this way but I was betting this road would merge onto the main highway before I ran out of gas. I should have gassed up earlier. My fears were soon realized when I heard the bang and then felt the wheel shuddering as the tire went flat.

That’s just what I needed, a flat tire. Well I’d best get this thing changed and be on my way before the sun goes down. Where’s my trunk key? What else can go wrong? I grabbed a large screwdriver and popped open the trunk. Oh no. The spare was missing! The sweat rolled down my back. My crusty vocal chords can’t even growl an obscenity. Quivering, my legs won’t push the old heap to the side of the road. What am I going to do now? What else can happen today? I wondered how much more patience I had? The tension in my shoulders shot pains all the way down my arms. I was not going to make it back to the highway before dark. I wondered how late that gas station was open? I wondered how often this road was traveled?

My ears twitched. I strained to listen. A hefty breeze was whistling past my ears making it hard to isolate that sound. Now it’s gone. There it is again. No it’s nothing but the wind. No it was definitely off to the left in the wood. The leaves crunched, twigs snapped. I strained to peer into the wood. The sun was too low and the wood was darkening. The noise was easy to hear now, but I could not see the generator.

First a scrape, then a snort, and he popped out of the woods. He was a fully-grown bull! He sniffed the air, pawed the ground and stomped his foot. In a second he started to charge. Damn I wish I had worn that blue shirt instead of the red one!

I stepped up on the bumper, to dive into the trunk. Bad idea, continuing upward on the fender I scrambled for the roof. Just as I got up there, he smashed into the side of the car. It rocked and I fell on the top. Arms flailing I grasped for anything to hold onto. Slam! He hit my vehicle again. The car buckled and I feared the side might cave in and send me into his path on his next assault. As he reeled back in preparation for the next attack, I leapt to the ground and ran for an aging oak that had a low hanging branch. Scrambling up the tree trunk my skin peeled off and onto the tree trunk like I was mishandling a colander. Blood streamed down my arm. I barely felt it. All I could think of was getting up that tree to safety, hoping even that bull couldn’t shake its roots. Had he not turned away for a second, he would have overtaken me and crushed me into a human bone pile. Now he just snuffed, pawed the ground and stared up at me.

After 15 minutes or so he lost interest and wandered off in the direction in which he came, or did he? I couldn’t see anything and the wind had died down. I twisted to put a good ear in his direction. I didn’t hear a thing, but wondered if he was out there, waiting in absolute silence for me to drop down out of the tree and then finish his work? I couldn’t see the side of the car he rearranged for me.

Slap, damn mosquito. Well if the bull wasn’t enough, the mosquitoes may be up to the task of finishing me off. My odor must have been broadcasted into the night and the hungry little beggars were dining on me as if I was on the menu at a fancy restaurant. I had to get back into that car. Sliding down the tree trunk, I skinned my arms again, ringing the dinner bell for the mosquitos. As my foot hit the ground, a twig snapped loud enough to set my heart to racing. I listened for the big bull to charge, but heard nothing.

Running for the car I tripped over an old barbed wire from a long untended fence, sending me head over heels through the leaves and brush. Now the leaves raked me and the dirt and rocks stuck to my skin. I froze, wondering if there might be a snake in the darkness. Well of course I wouldn’t be able to hear one anyway. Slap! The mosquitoes found me again. I walked slower now for the car. If the bull was out there he would surely be on a dead run for me and I would hear him. I opened the good door and crawled in to rest.

Slap, slap, slap, the mosquitoes just gnawed at me. Hopefully I could get them one by one until they were exterminated so I might catch a few winks. Slowly exhaustion swept over me and I drifted into a fitful sleep.

Rap, rap, rap, my eyes opened and the light stung them forcing them shut again. “Are you all right sir?” He said.

“Please turn that light off.”

“Officer Collins sir, are you all right?”

“Yes”

“Please step out of the car and move around to the back sir.”

Well this is just great, where was he when I needed him hours ago?

“What happened to your vehicle sir?”

“I had a blowout.”

“A blowout caused your door to cave in?”

“No, a bull caused that.”

“May I see your drivers license?” Reaching, I realized my pocket was torn off and my wallet was gone.

Well that’s just great!

“Officer I don’t seem to have my wallet anymore.”

“Face the car and put your hands on the fender sir.”

“But I”

“Turn around and face the fender, I won’t say it again sir.”

Placing my hands on the fender I wondered just what was next? He took my right arm and pulled back my wrist. I felt the cool metal of the handcuff. He pulled my left wrist back and completed cuffing me.

“A convenience store was robbed about 12 miles back on highway 65 tonight, and because you don’t have any identification, I’m taking you to county until we can verify who you are and have the clerk eyeball you. If you are not the man we’re looking for, you will be free to go.” I hoped the holding cell had a wash basin and air conditioning. The dirt, sweat and blood was caking on my skin making me uncomfortable. I hoped that clerk can tell I’m not the one who robbed the store.

“Step into the cell sir, and watch your feet.”

Slam, the door shut. I could hardly wait to see what would happen next.

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