221010 Christmas

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas!

Last year I had no Christmas spirit.

After Joyce died in September, I was like an old sailing ship, drifting about and lost at sea. I donated most everything that reminded me of her. I even tossed our six foot Christmas tree. Christmas of 2021 was saved by my kids, Annie, Rhett, Hailey and nephew Patrick and his love Kristy appearing like a host of Christmas angels. That wasn't planned; it just happened. My pain of loss was dulled by their arrival. It was strange not having Joyce there, but it was nice and much appreciated.

This year, 2022 I went to Walmart a week ago and noted that the first of their Christmas Tree selections were in the process of being set up in the normal garden section. That lit a spark in me. I came home with a six foot boxed artificial tree. In past years Joyce and I started listening to Christmas music by September and put up a tree in late October so we had it for Halloween, Thanksgiving and on through Christmas. On the farm we would have five of them, but this apartment only has space for one tree. I assembled the tree early in case there was something missing or incorrect and needed to be returned. Everything turned out well and the bare tree is in my living room. Two days ago I bought a timer so the tree lights would turn on and off automatically. The timer was set up and verified as functional, so I decided to check out some of the LED lights. To my dismay, I realized that I had tossed them too. Today I will be making another trip to Walmart for lights.

Seeing those Christmas trees in the store sparked that old, long held tradition in me. I have mourned my loss of Joyce long enough and it is time to move on to whatever life I have left. If I have company for Christmas this year or spend it alone is uncertain, but I will celebrate equally what I have and what I had in the past. Joyce would approve of that. I’ll always remember her and I’ll never marry again. I vowed to have and hold her till death do us part and as long as I live Joyce is still here in my heart.