220719 To Be

There was a time when I thought I wanted to be a bird.
I gave that consideration and decided I would like to be a cardinal.
A cardinal is a beautiful bird.
I dreamt it would be an idyllic life as a bird.
I would bask in the sun, flap my wings and see everything around me from high up in the air.
Life would be a dream, a collage of sights, sounds and pleasant days.
No cooking, cleaning, working, ah what a life it would be.
But then reality came into view, spending cold winter days outside and nights of below freezing, fighting day after day with other birds who would swoop in on my meals to take away my nourishment. Constantly looking up for hawks who might make me their dinner, always looking out for cats who like catching birds and me there in a bright red suit of feathers, a beacon for those cats and the raptors from the skies.
Suddenly being a bird didn't sound as good as I thought before.
I realized that were I a bird at that time in my life, that I would not be a cardinal, but rather a blue jay.

That was me at the time, always squawking and annoying those around me, trying to prove my superiority when I was anything but superior to anyone in my life.
Now in my last years of life, I only desire to be kind to all and show my love to all. That is my goal.