I have spent a major part of my life in fear. I had fear of the unknown, of people, of being disgraced, of being looked down upon. Name it and I was afraid of it. This began in my late teens and early twenties and still exists to a minor extent today some 50 years later.
My father led a fearless life, nothing scared him. He knew he could overcome anything this world had to offer. His only fear in life was death. He believed when that last breath was taken, it was all over; there was nothing from that point on.
Today, I have no fear of death. I believe that death is a new life as a spirit of consciousness which is our real life. We are born as humans to learn human love and suffering. Those are different from the experience as a spirit of consciousness. Our spirit never dies, only humans die. Our consciousness is always there in the ethereal. That never goes away.
My greatest love in life was Joyce.
My greatest suffering in life was when Joyce passed away from her second brain aneurysm. My second worst suffering was 2.5 months of fear that she would die from her first aneurysm. Now I grieve from losing her 9 months ago. I do think I am entering the acceptance phase of grief. I realize I still have a life worth living.
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