Wednesday, December 1, 2021

211201 Sentinel, Something We Never Know

If I Make it Through December.

This was what I looked like at the beginning of my life.

I hope to be here come summer, but one never knows when he will draw his last breath. Joyce proved that to me last September. Today, tomorrow, next week or any time thereafter life can end. Joyce and I lived most of our lives for others; we helped others and did that because we thought it was the right thing to do. As I write this, I remember something Joyce told me last summer. She said, “The best time in my life was when we lived in California for the first time. We were free to do whatever we wanted and not have to please other people.” That was very uncharistic for Joyce to think or say because she was dedicated to family. I suppose it was just a long vacation for her; it was a time of freedom and no worries for us both. In 1965 California lived up to its name, "The Golden State."

Now I find myself in a position where Joyce’s and my family are no longer except for Rhett, Annie, Hailey and our nephew Patrick and his love Kristen. I can’t do anything to help them in the way that Joyce and I helped our families before, so I plan on spending the time I have left doing what I want to do. I’m going to eat and drink and do what I want, while I can. Life has been good to me so far.

Athletic games always run with a clock system. The fans can see the countdown clock with minutes and seconds slipping away until the countdown clock hits 00:00. I can tell my countdown clock is running. I can’t see the numbers, but I know they aren’t increasing.

This is what I want to look like at the end of my life.

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2 comments:

  1. AnnieDecember 1, 2021 at 3:50 PM

    Wow Dad. Can you say bipolar. I know that you don't have to read your blog posts to your editor out loud anymore, but just because she isn't there in the physical she is there in spirit always--ALWAYS--. so you might just go on ahead and read it to her out loud. I can assure you that she will still be your editor. Also the picture above is how you look when you sleep, mostly in a chair with a game or movie on after a good meal. I love you, please don't try to prophesy your end of days, Hailey really wants you at her high-school and college graduation. And I would love to have you for more things.

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  2. isaw3seas.blogspot.comDecember 2, 2021 at 6:23 AM

    I do still read my posts aloud to your mother. This one was read several times and changed each time until she indicated it was good to go. One thing your mother said to me many times when she sat in her chair by me was, "We don't get to choose when or how we die and she was correct. I think she knew she was going to pass away his year. I could sense it the was she talked through the summer. She didn't realize it was going to be her time that last morning when we sat drinking our coffee together. I have no control over when my time will be. This old body of mine is wearing out slowly and has been since I was 55. Each decade since then I feel a step down and they are big steps. I am okay with that. I have thought my life would end when I was 82. That thought has been with me since 1987. I don't know how or why it came to me; it just did back then. Statistically, people who have had a long loving marriage as we had and one passes away, the other is usually gone within 6 months. Those are just the facts.
    Love,
    Dad

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