The Sentinel
All the news that's fit to print.
Local news today
This is an unusual story. It seems that a nearby psychotic overdosed on his probiotic and it knocked the crap out of him.
Your editor received an email yesterday, from a woman thanking him for his service. He sent back a reply thanking her for the recognition and added a question; did you thank your husband husband for his service? All well and good, until he realized he had a typo in the question. Instead of did you thank your husband for his service, it came out did you yank your husband for his service? Your editor was more than slightly embarrassed.
Local citizenry in panic today!
There is an unknown white substance falling from the skies here. No one here has ever seen anything like this. People are hiding behind closed doors in their homes, wary of this unusual sight and they are concerned for their safety. As of this moment, the ground everywhere is covered in white and from the penthouse office in the 'Big Johnson' tower This editor can see no movement on the streets of town. There are several wrecked vehicles abandoned on the street below, perhaps the first victims of this strange, white, dangerous substance. Your editor sent out our brave reporters this morning to gather up stories about this event, but so far none have returned.
Local man predicting end of the world is coming soon!
Your editor interviewed a mister "Stormy Weber" yesterday. He made his pitch about how all of the signs are pointing to the end. According to Stormy,"The government is hiding their secret plans from us. The coming World War Three is on the horizon with cyber attacks followed by nuclear bombs, general starvation after the nukes cause an end to summer growing seasons, the pollution from our current reduced environmental laws polluting all of our fresh water, massive antibiotics in all animals used for slaughter and plastic." This editor must confess that he did not understand the comment about plastic.
Copyright Sentinel Publishing Inc. 2018 and beyond.
All the news that's fit to print.
This is an unusual story. It seems that a nearby psychotic overdosed on his probiotic and it knocked the crap out of him.
Your editor received an email yesterday, from a woman thanking him for his service. He sent back a reply thanking her for the recognition and added a question; did you thank your husband husband for his service? All well and good, until he realized he had a typo in the question. Instead of did you thank your husband for his service, it came out did you yank your husband for his service? Your editor was more than slightly embarrassed.
There is an unknown white substance falling from the skies here. No one here has ever seen anything like this. People are hiding behind closed doors in their homes, wary of this unusual sight and they are concerned for their safety. As of this moment, the ground everywhere is covered in white and from the penthouse office in the 'Big Johnson' tower This editor can see no movement on the streets of town. There are several wrecked vehicles abandoned on the street below, perhaps the first victims of this strange, white, dangerous substance. Your editor sent out our brave reporters this morning to gather up stories about this event, but so far none have returned.
Your editor interviewed a mister "Stormy Weber" yesterday. He made his pitch about how all of the signs are pointing to the end. According to Stormy,"The government is hiding their secret plans from us. The coming World War Three is on the horizon with cyber attacks followed by nuclear bombs, general starvation after the nukes cause an end to summer growing seasons, the pollution from our current reduced environmental laws polluting all of our fresh water, massive antibiotics in all animals used for slaughter and plastic." This editor must confess that he did not understand the comment about plastic.
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