Lights in the Sky

The Sentinel November 6, 2001
Springfield And Surrounding Area Residents Report Unusual Sightings
Springfield’s Kolr 10 news last night reported a large number of citizens called in to report strange red lights in the northern sky. The weatherman stated the lights were part of the Aurora Borealis. This reporter can only assume that the weatherman thinks that residents of the local area are rather doltish! In order to see the Aurora Borealis one has to travel hundreds of miles north of this latitude to view the northern lights. Not only that but the lights are normally greenish. The lights reported by the local citizenry were red in color. Local Ash Grovians were interviewed about this, see this page column 2.	Local resident, Bill Weber speaks out on the mysterious red lights. Yeah I did see them lights, and they wasn’t no Aurora whatever. They was space ships I tell ya. Didn’t scare me none atoll. I see ‘em all the time. I bin out late at night an see ‘em up there a circling the ground and looking fer a place ta land. They gotta re-charge them batteries ya know. Why last winter I lost batteries in everythin I had on the farm. It’s plum crazy! Ah fetched ma shotgun last time an peppered them peckerwoods an they ain’t been back since last month. Mr. Weber had been drinking at the time of this interview.	This story comes in concerning a missing 15,000 pound bomb. Ash Grove, Mo. Local resident Gunther Twiddy was plowing near a wooded section of his property last weekend when he came across a large circular indentation in the soil. The fall grasses were burned out in a perfect circle. Next to the circle was a huge 15,000 pound bomb on a skid, just like the ones seen recently on CNN that the Air Force has been using in Afghanistan. When this reporter called Whitman Air Base, they confirmed they had been missing one of the bombs, since the red lights were in the local skies, but they did not want to alarm the public. They agreed to pick up their missing bomb.