Nurse Betty 1704

Sometimes when I am at a loss for words, I look back and find something I wrote in the past. Today is one of those days. This post was written on May 8 of 2002. I thought it was fun back then and I like it today. Nurse Betty was a great gal and I missed her when she left. This was written for her.

‘The Sentinel’ Printed underground in Missouri.
We never let facts get in the way of a good story!

Nurse Betty was gone. That much was certain. She said she would return and work part time. But we knew she would meet some really nice guy at the prison and they would slip away together, across the border and be wed. Nurse Betty had said she always wanted to travel and that was her opportunity. Betty said she would sneak back into town around Christmas time when the local law was busy and the sugar overload from excessive doughnut binging made them groggy and unable to function at full capability. But Christmas never happened. Nurse Betty and hubby moved to Washington D.C. where hubby said crooks were welcomed and even won political office. Bill Clinton, Richard Nixon, the list goes on and on. Nurse Betty’s hubby went on to win the mayoral race in D.C. The mayor’s job must have paid well. Four years later they moved to the Virginia suburban Georgetown location where hubby launched his Senate campaign. He won that race. Next stop was the White House.

First Lady Betty embroiled herself in teen development. Betty taught teens that violence was not the answer, and handcuffs could be used in a more fun way. They weren’t just for cops anymore. Eight years later Betty and hubby left the White House and moved back to S.W. Missouri (hubby had just pardoned himself before leaving office). They bought a large estate and began building a presidential library. Hubby’s presidential library established a lending program for adult books with the nearby Clinton library. Betty founded a positive self-image development institute for underweight super models. Many Victoria’s Secret models attended the clinic. Some of the lesser attractive models brought visits from the Clinton brothers.Betty became the Martha Stewart of adult entertainment. Soon she had her own HBO specials airing. Hollywood people clamored to be guests on the Nurse Betty show. At one point the aging Madonna requested a guest spot, but Betty turned her down stating: “I may have lived in the White House for 8 years but I do have some dignity and standards.” Betty still lived in S.W. Missouri and ran a stud farm. No one ever saw a horse in the stables there, but there were a lot of muscular trainers working there. Ladies came from near and far to vacation there. Dolly Partin could no longer say her “‘Dixie Stampede’ was the most fun place to eat in Branson”. You’re gone Nurse Betty, but never forgotten.