The Trance

          It had built up for a long time; the TV news was bad, the weather had been miserable and I had become terribly depressed, worrying about what the future might bring. Everything seemed out of sync. I was obsessed thinking about that when I realized I needed to stop everything for a while and just let my life re-synchronize. I sat down in my recliner, kicked back and set about to meditate in perfect stillness.

          What happened was, I think I was in a trance. I could hear music playing, but I was a small child by a narrow creek. I could jump back and forth across the stream. On one side of the stream the sun was shining and wildflowers were in full bloom up a rolling hillside. Butterflies filled the air and all was well until I jumped back over to the other side. The other side was dark and cold. Everything was in deep shadows and chills ran up my spine. The child (me) kept hopping from one side to the other, sampling the air, the light, the entire environment, unable to determine which side was where I should be. The dark side was not frightening but it seemed to be my past, what led me to this point. The sunny side had new life and the mystery of what might  be just over the hill. The sunny side seemed more frightening, not knowing what was over that hill. I felt best just standing by the stream, by the flowers I picked and looking up the hill, but not caring to climb it.

          I wrote this piece over two years ago, but never published it.