A Sentinel issue from 10 years ago

I just read an article that stated Intel Corporation has developed a new chip of pure silicon that can switch optical light beams 10 times faster than conventional chips are now switching electrical current, making communication faster and cheaper. I studied the article for several minutes and came to this conclusion: I ‘m worried if the electricity goes out on this new super fast chip, I’m afraid the optical light device wouldn’t work any faster than the conventional computer chips we are currently using. I say wait until they get the technology right and the price comes down; then get the new chip for your computer.

I’m always telling Joyce that I should be an advertising consultant so I could point out to manufacturers what’s right and wrong about the commercials they run on television. Lately on television the commercials at dinnertime seem to be advertisements for the indigestion cures, the various brands of fiber supplements and the assorted brands of pills for the erectly challenged. These three seem to be set at the right time of day and with a great degree of synergy. This is how I reason. People have just finished supper, the main meal of the day. They need to expel a huge amount of gas. That being taken care of, an evacuation of one’s colon seems only fitting. Once those two important functions are taken care of, one might just feel well enough to engage in activity number three. Sadly the completion of action one, two and three would severely cut into the profits of the late evening advertiser’s sleep aids, but it’s a dog eat dog world in advertising.

Speaking of dog eat dog, did you know that dairy cow udders are used in the manufacture of dog food? I wonder how many dogs now have mad cow disease. No good parent would ever feed her child food she wouldn’t eat, so why feed your dog diseased cow chunks? I think table food is the only safe food for dogs. Look at it this way, if you eat something that poisons and kills you; at least the family dog won’t go unpunished when Rex decides to eat your remains.

This Saturday is Valentine’s day so I’d like to remind all of our readers that taking your Valentine out for a wonderful fancy dinner leads to indigestion aids which leads to fiber supplements which leads to erectility which leads to teenagers which leads to wondering which will get you first, the dog eating you after the poisoned food or the teenager killing you from the stress of modern day parenting? I wonder if that’s what they mean when they say “celebrate celibacy?”

President Bush, in a campaign speech yesterday, expressed concern in Pennsylvania about people looking for work because jobs have been outsourced overseas. “There are people looking for work because jobs have gone overseas," Bush said.

President Bush should be concerned; 2.8 million factory jobs have left the country since his election.