Last night I settled in for a long winter’s nap
While the rain on the roof went tap, tap, tap
It felt good in my bed, out of the storm
It was ever so nice, cozy and warm
I awakened later to the sounds of a scuffle
Up the stairs I heard little feet shuffle
The door burst open and lo to my surprise
A tremendous bright light shone in my eyes
Suddenly I felt the grip of many strong hands
Their fingers wrapped round me like steel bands
I was lifted up and hauled down the hall
Where to be taken, I had no idea at all
I wriggled and twisted every which way
But those steel tentacles held me at bay
They carried me out the door and past the shed
My future soon became something to dread
I was taken to a spaceship, then up, up and away
By then I wondered, would this be my last day?
A question was asked that gave me great pause
The leader queried me, was I Santa Claus?
I wondered if I answered no sadly I was not
Would they dump me out right on the spot?
We were miles above the earth, in outer space
Most assuredly I would vanish, without a trace
I chose to answer in truth; I was not the man in red
Was that why the space minions, snatched me from my bed?
The leader pushed a button; the ship stopped midstream
We headed back to my earth home at full steam
When I opened my eyes, the sun shone bright
My first thoughts were, what a horrible night
Was my night as real, as it did seem?
Could it be that it was, all just a dream?
Perhaps it would best to forget; I should not really care
Who would believe me in outer space, in just my underwear?
I got dressed and walked out past the shed, only to see
A circular burned spot where a space ship used to be
Relax my friends; there is nothing to fear
For now I have warned good old Santa dear
Santa’s security elves will keep watch through the night
Come Christmas Eve, good old Santa will take flight
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