The Stream

It had built up for some time; the national and local news was bad, the weather was bad, and I had become terribly depressed worrying about what the future might bring. Everything just seemed out of sync.

I thought about it for a few minutes and realized I needed to stop everything for a while and just let my life resynchronize. The thing to do was to sit down in my recliner in perfect stillness to meditate.

What happened was I think similar to what others describe as a near death experience. I was in a trance like state. I could hear music playing from our home system while I seemed to drift in and out of consciousness. I saw myself as a small child beside a narrow creek. I could jump back and forth across the narrow stream. On one side of the stream, the sun was shining and the wildflowers were in full bloom up the rolling hillside. Butterflies filled the warm air, in stark contrast to the other side. The other side of the creek was dark and cold. Everything there was in shadows. The child (me) kept hopping from one side of the creek to the other, sampling the air, the light, the whole environment, unable to decide on which side I should be. The dark side was not frightening, but it seemed to be all things past. It was everything that led me to the point where I am now. The sunny side had the new life of flowers and the mystery of what was just over the hill. The sunny side was more frightening because I had no idea of what lay over the hill. I felt best just standing in the sun, by the stream, by the flowers and looking up the hill, but not caring to climb it.