240425 Doctor Doctor

This is a longer than usual post. Try not to fall asleep.

It’s not Saturday (when I used to go to confession at my local Catholic church) but I do have a story of confession to share with you.

I had been a non drinker, non smoker for 66 days. It was tough for me, but I was avoiding both of my favorite habits.

Then on Monday April 22nd I received my electric bill. The electric company had sent out a message earlier that they were making some big changes so the bill would be delayed and the account numbers would all change. I had always paid my bill online as soon as I received it. The bill finally came and there were only a few days left to pay it. The bill had the last 4 digits of the account number and the rest were all “x”ed out. I went online to pay the bill, but they wanted the entire bill number to pay the bill. I did not have that. I went into a Chernobyl sized meltdown. I didn’t know what to do. I went out for a walk to cool down and think things over. After my walk, I finally got my phone to call them. What I got was a robot that had me fill in several large numbers and click, click and my bill was paid but my head was exploding. I decided to succumb to having a smoke and a beer to relax and come back to earth. They were so good, I went back and had another.

My trash can was full, so I bagged the trash and walked out to empty it into the dumpster. I had my mailbox key with my apartment key, so I stopped at the mailbox to see if anything was there. I opened the box and there was a letter from the electric company. The letter had all of the required information. I was really annoyed over that!

The 24th of April was my annual wellness exam. It used to be a long drawn out affair with stories they told and then asked questions about the story to check one’s memory. There were pictures to identify and my favorite, draw on a paper what the clock hands looked like when it was 8 am. That was all gone. The doctor did a check of my heart and lungs (both remarkable for a 79 year old) and then asked about my smoking and drinking and was I still on the proverbial wagon. I explained my trigger story and what happened and I then said: “Doctor, I’m 79 years old, how much longer am I going to live? Since my wife died I have been alone and never gotten over losing her. I have nothing left in life. There are only 3 things I find pleasure in; those are, coffee, beer and smoking. Would you deny me my only pleasures?” The doctor just smiled and our visit was over.