I was feeling low for the last several days. I’ve been thinking about losing Joyce, so many friends through the years and so many of my family members. I have been missing the farm and the old house there. All of those losses were out of my control. People die and we take the loss hard, but everyone eventually dies so that’s out of our control. Leaving the farm was very sad, but Joyce and I were unable to take care of all that was needed to keep it in good shape. It was too much work for us. I drove out by the farm several months ago to see it once more. I was appalled by what I saw. The new owners, who had promised to take good care of it, moved in and apparently never lifted a finger to take care of anything. The acreage that we worked so hard to clear was again overgrown. It hadn’t seen a mower or a saw since we left 7 years ago. The only clear area was the driveway and the house had weeds, vines and trees butting up against it. It made me sick to my stomach.
After my days of sadness, it dawned on me that it’s better to have had love, a wonderful wife, a family, many friends and the farm than to have not had them at all. They are all gone now, but I still have joyful memories of them. I have discovered that when I am feeling sad the only thing to get over it is to get up and do something, anything physical and my troubles fade away. If there's nothing new to tackle, I reverse what I did a day or two ago my mind clears and I feel good again.
I'm going to try and forget the past and only consider the moment and the future. I know this is the correct thing to do, but the question is can I do it?
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