230125 Enlightenment

This is a rather long story, but on a cold,miserable day like today, kick back and enjoy my work of fiction.

‘Enlightenment’
Chapter 1

I want to share a story with you that happened and though it may sound a little fantastic, it did take place. I was just an average guy in an average job making less than average wages for above average work.

My girlfriend Charity was a nice looking woman and she had been with me for two years, ever since she left her previous boyfriend. He was emotionally and sometimes physically abusing her. I thought he was just a little frustrated by his job and scared of what might happen if he were to lose it because of his drinking. He sometimes missed work because he was not feeling well enough to go on Mondays. But I had no complaints; Charity was going to pay her share of the rent when she got a job. She was fun to be with and occasionally she would share a few intimate moments with me. So I figured we would eventually get closer and probably get married. My best buddy Jake was another good thing in my life. He was usually there when I needed a hand and the loans he borrowed were paid back eventually, even if he would turn around and borrow the money back before the night was over. He had his problems too. It wasn’t his fault he seemed to be attracted to women that wanted to have children and then have him pay child support beyond his means. Jake was working part time in a warehouse for Wal-Mart. I sometimes think his working third shift and being off all day long was part of the problem. He was out and about during the day when many dissatisfied, bored, women were out looking for a way to pass the time until their next TV show came on. It wasn’t his fault they were married.

I had bought this house in a neighborhood that was a good one and I never dreamed that shortly after I bought the house that the Environmental Protection Agency would declare the neighborhood an unsafe area to live with small children. It seems that the local electric plant had dumped some chemical on the ground for years before there were laws against that. The real estate agent said she had no idea that was soon to happen, after all, her friend had been the seller and she wouldn’t have lived there if she knew it was unsafe for children to be there. That sort-of made sense to me. Some of the people I worked with told me I should sue the agent and the company, but I figured if she really didn’t know about the area going to be listed as a hazardous site, I didn’t feel right about making her feel worse than she already said she felt.

There was only one other person of note in my life, Nirvana. She was…

‘Enlightenment’
Chapter 2

Nirvana was a strange quirky woman from down the street. I remember shortly after Charity moved into my house, I was driving home from work when I felt the steering on my car was suddenly out of control. I pulled into the repair garage on Fifth Street and oddly enough, two wheels had the lug nuts come loose. The mechanic said the lugs were almost sheared through and I would have to leave the car until he could get new ones in the morning. “Fine,” I said. “I’ll just walk home and pick up the car tomorrow.” I started walking home when I passed an occult bookstore on First Street and the oddly dressed Nirvana walked out of the store and said hello.

“You’re Bill.”
“Yes, but I don’t know your name.”
“I’m Nirvana, and I’m one of your neighbors.”
“Really?”
“Yes, I wouldn’t lie to you, as others do.”
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“I mean you are often duped by friends and co-workers.”
“Lady, you don’t even know me.”
“Nirvana knows many things.”
“Lady, I have friends who are pretty good and they don’t lie to me. I have a nice girl who is trying to find a job so hopefully we can save some money and someday get married. And I’m satisfied all is well in my life.”
“If only you knew.” She said.
“Lady it’s eight more blocks to home from here. Let’s not talk about my personal life and what you may think of it.”
“As you wish. Would you like to make a bet on a horse race? I sometimes know who the winner will be before the race is run.”
“Lady so does my bookie at work. He must, because I lose every time I bet with him.”
“What shall we talk about Bill?”
“I don’t care as long as it’s not my personal life, religion or politics. I don’t know you well enough to share any of those details with you.”
“I forgot, I know much more about you than you know about me.”
“Lady, Nirvana, how is it that you know anything at all about me? We have never met, I barely recognize you, yet you say you know all about me.”
“Not everything is as you seem to think Bill. Many things are very clear when you step away and look at a larger picture. Many things are made clear when one meditates and clears one’s mind. Only then does the truth become apparent, when the glow of enlightenment begins to shine.”
“Nirvana, do you really believe in that stuff?”
“You could learn for yourself Bill.”
“Yeah, well maybe later.”
“What fills your mind fills your world Bill.”
I walked on home with her and found she lived the second house from the corner on my block. She was strange and some of what she said may have been true, but I was not ready to investigate any further. I had a life and it was okay.
We had a block party some weeks later and she was there. I saw her and tried to turn away before we made eye contact, but it was too late. I had to go over and say hello. “Say I was thinking, if you know so much, how come you ended up in this neighborhood with all of the dangerous chemicals in the ground?”
“I knew the problem and also knew as long as I didn’t grow vegetables or flowers in the soil and only drank bottled water, I would be safe enough. I only took over payments from a terrified homeowner, so the mortgage on my property is only $15,000. Quite less than the $60,000 you paid Bill. Besides, how else would we have met?”
“Are you still on that occult kick? Most people get over that in a month or two. And why would we have to meet? Couldn’t we go our whole life without ever knowing each other?”
“Yes, we could go all our lives and never know each other"
She could have been wearing a duck on her head and I wouldn’t have looked at her any more strangely than I did. “What are you saying now?”
“I’m studying different things than most people, yes most people quit in less than two months, we have met so I can help you and yes we could go all our lives and never know each other, but you need and want me here, so I came.”
“Nirvana, I need to find Charity, she gets a few drinks in her and gets a little flirty. I’ll see you later.”
“Yes she does and yes you will.”
I looked at her again and wondered what the hell she was talking about. Little did I know what it all meant? I washed it from my mind; I was off tomorrow and headed to the mountains.

‘Enlightenment’
Chapter 3

One minute I was walking down a logging road glancing over a precipitous drop off at the road where I had walked an hour ago. The next moment I was traveling via the direct route back to the same spot. A logging truck had rounded the turn too fast and slid toward the edge of the gravel road, forcing me to the edge, and when the rock gave way, I was flying.
I wondered if flying would be a part of my life after death or if my mortal sins would clip my wings and land me in hell forever? Sweat popped out of my forehead and all over my body. Quickly calculating, at 32 feet per second or there about, I would have my answer in less than three seconds.
I had already taken my last gasp and my mind raced through dozens of would a, should a, could a, situations. My life seemed a procession of regrets. None of the good things I had done came to mind, but there was an endless series of memories that I had long ago lived and I had beaten myself with a stick over the stupidity of my actions. I had always been a pretty good person, just weak of character. My sins were of 10% commission and 90% omission. It was the omission I was truly sorry for. The evil I had done was harmful only to me so far as I knew. But the things I failed to do were harmful to me and to others. Like dials on a slot machine, my various gaffes whirled before me.
Suddenly the sensation of falling was no longer there. There was no sense of anything. The sweat was gone. My feet didn’t hurt. My knees weren’t aching; there was no feeling of my body at all. I looked, but I had no hands, no feet, no knees, and no body at all. I could see but not myself. I had emotion, but no body. For the first time in memory, I had no fear. I was by the side of the road in the middle of nowhere. I didn’t know where I was going, but I hoped I knew it when I got there. I was there, at the side of the road, not knowing what happened. There were no flames or pitchforks, so maybe I passed? There were no bright lights or angels either; I was where I had been an hour ago.
Now what I wondered? It wasn’t long before another log truck came by. I waved but he drove by like he didn’t see me. Moments later another downshifted and began the climb towards where my current situation began. This time I cupped my crouch, or where my crouch had been and made an obscene gesture with one single digit. Still no response from the driver. I could only assume he didn’t see me either.
I started moving down the hill. I wasn’t walking, nor was I flying; I was just moving. It was strange, thoughts crept back into my head, and my senses went to high alert. What was to be next?

‘Enlightenment’
Chapter 4

I cut across a canyon that forced the road to make a hairpin curve. There were two young people in the back of the canyon, away from the road. They didn’t notice me go by, but they wouldn’t have noticed a herd of buffalo stampede past them. They were quite busy. This new experience did have some definite advantages. No longer having or needing my knapsack, I had no dinner to go along with the show.
I continued on my journey back down the mountain. I had no goal, but I was moving just the same. Another advantage of my condition was no sweating or fatigue. The further down the mountain I went the more activity I encountered. As more and more vehicles drove by I was tempted to test my new condition by stepping out in front of one of them. I started to step in front of another truck rolling by at 60 miles an hour, but thought what if the poor guy did see me? He might crash trying to avoid me. Of course I could just be delirious and then the truck really would finish me off. I determined to observe more before testing my limits further.
I walked for what seemed hours. My Charity had dropped me off at the base of the hiking trail Friday night and was not due back until Sunday noon. But having this weird experience of falling almost 300 feet and not knowing what else to do, I decided to spend what I thought was Saturday afternoon and evening walking on home.
When I got there Jake’s pickup truck was in the driveway. I thought he must have been feeling better, as he had bowed out of out hiking trip yesterday due to some stomach distress. Diarrhea is no fun in the wilderness. I went to honk the horn and let them know I was home, but even though I was sure I hit the button, nothing sounded. How would I open the door? Duh… If there wasn’t enough of me to depress the horn button, I should be able to pass right through the door or a wall. Gee now I wish I had stepped in front of the truck.
I passed through the door but no one was in the living room. There was a movie playing in the video player and oh my, it sure wasn’t one of mine! I slipped through the wall into the bedroom. Well Jake must have had a full recovery, but something was wrong with Charity. Maybe she fell in the shower and Jake was giving her mouth-to-mouth resuscitation? But he didn’t need to have his clothes off for that. Well she must have been coming back to consciousness, I heard her moan even though her eyes were still shut. Hey there was nothing wrong with them at all. Damn, I couldn’t even pick up my baseball bat!
Well I guessed this wasn’t heaven, but just what was it? Charity and I weren’t as close as I thought. Now what was I to do? I don’t think Charity was taking a shower. This new state of being had its advantages. Well now that I appeased my voyeuristic side, it no longer had the allure it once had.

‘Enlightenment’
Chapter 5

Damn it was cold! Oh no! I’m sliding down the mountainside. I’d never been to Nepal, but this was just like a book I had read and I was sliding right off of a sheer mountain cliff. Oh man! Think of warm sunny beaches, sand, sun, and bikinis. Hey it works! There was a twist here, even though I don’t have an in the flesh body that I could see, I could still feel all of the sensory feelings as I always had. I felt the icy chill of that mountain and experienced the slipping and terror of sliding off that cliff in my mind and it was just as real as before. Right now I felt the warmth of the sand just as I remembered it.
So if I imagine something, does that mean that’s what it is or what it becomes?
This newfound ability could be dangerous.
It’s fully dark now, so time is still passing. Oh, there’s a bright light now. It’s coming closer. Wow, there’s a loud horn! I guess this is it, the end of this short ride. This is more like I’ve been expecting. No, it’s turning, the lights are turning and the truck is going down another road. It’s a fire truck. I thought for a minute Gabriel was coming to take me home or somewhere else. I hope that when the angels come to carry me home, that it’s not just some long ongoing Sunday service that eventually makes everyone miserable. An eon of sitting in a church is not what I want heaven to be. I’m not really sure what heaven should be, but I think it’s safe to say most people feel it’s supposed to be some sort of a reward.

‘Enlightenment’
Chapter 6

Well what good can I make of this situation? Need it be good at all? Why not evil? I’m in some altered state of consciousness. I don’t know if I’m dead but I know I’m not living as I was a few hours ago. My best friend hosing my girlfriend didn’t seem to affect me as I think it should have, had I been in a normal state. I have no clue what is going on.
I’ve got to piece this thing together. I was off work on Friday. I was going to hike and camp out with Jake until he called and said he had a stomach bug or something. I was getting ready to go alone when Nirvana called. She said her pilot light went out on her water heater and asked if I could light it for her. I told her I could look at it and maybe light it if it wasn’t too complicated. I went down there and she let me in her house to see the heater. It was strange in there. The house was packed with odd furniture that didn’t match and there were books everywhere. The house had a strange smell she said was incense. I looked at the heater and told her of my trip as we made small talk while I studied the mechanism. I got the auto shutoff figured out and used a long match to hold heat on the thermocouple and relight the pilot. I told her if this didn’t fix the heater, she would need the services of a trained technician. As I finished, she thanked me and said she had something for me to try on my trip.
“Here, have this for your lunch when you get out on your hike. It’s a good food to enhance your circulation to your brain and help you sort things out in your head.”
I thanked her and took the covered container. I wasn’t sure I would eat it, but I didn’t want to offend her. Even this odd woman was deserving of some respect. I went home and as luck would have it, Charity had not yet found time to make me a lunch for my first day out, so I put the offering from Nirvana in my poke. She had told me to wait until I was all the way out to where I was going, but I got hungry along the way. I didn’t want to stop and make a campfire to heat water for one of my dry vacuum-packed meals. I had eaten the food she gave me and while I didn’t know what it was, it tasted okay and I was really hungry so I finished all of it in quick order. I started on up the trail when the first incident, that being the truck forcing me to the road edge, occurred.
Now I’m in this state and don’t know what to do? Yeah, I do know what to do, I’m going to think my way over to Nirvana’s and ask her just what the hell she gave me? That’s exactly what I’m going to do…

‘Enlightenment’
Chapter 7

As soon as I thought of Nirvana, I was there where I had been hours before. She was sitting on some funny pillow with her eyes closed. She seemed to know someone was there; she opened her eyes and slowly scanned the room. I wondered if she knew it was I and why I was there?
“I knew you would show up here Bill.” Her lips didn’t move, but I heard her speak. “You’re in tune with my thoughts Bill, even though I can’t see you.”
“This is too weird for me. How do you know I’m here when no one else seems to see me and how can I hear words you haven’t spoken?” “I told you I’ve learned many things Bill. Now maybe you will begin to learn. Remember when I said you brought me into your life because you needed me?”
“Yes, but I don’t need this.”
“Don’t you need this? Don’t you need to see things in a true light?”
“Nirvana, what I need are answers, not questions. I have enough questions.”
“I’m offering you the answers Bill. You need only to see them. See them and know that not all things of this world have answers in this world. Some things require the knowledge of another dimension to understand them.”
“Nirvana, what I need is to get back to what I was this morning and where I was and then go on with my life.” “That’s exactly what you don’t need Bill. That’s why you brought me here, to help you climb out of this pit you’ve fallen into.” “I don’t know anything about a pit, lady. I just want to get my life back in order.”
“And you will Bill. It just takes time. Nothing happens in a moment.”
I said to her,“This all happened in a moment.”
“Did it Bill? Think about it. This point in time that you refer to as a moment began all the way back forty years ago when you were in school. You thought people who played pranks on you were just trying to be your friend. Later you thought when your shipmates beat you at cards they were just lucky or better than you. You thought when your reports were jumbled or lost before deadlines that someone was just playing a joke on you. You thought when Charity came into your life that it was just fortune. You thought Jake hung around because he liked you as a friend.”
“Nirvana, I think I need to go somewhere, back as I was.”
“You know how to make that happen Bill.”
“No, I don’t.”
“You do.”
“Aw crap, I do not and I’m tired of this game of yours!” In that instant I was somewhere else, but where?

‘Enlightenment’
Chapter 8

I was transported to a tranquil mountain setting overlooking a placid lake. I think it was from a movie I had seen. There’s an “A” frame cabin made of stone and rough-hewn logs that gives it a century old look. It sits about 50 feet from the water and there’s a dock where a seaplane lands. It was a lot like the cabin in the movie “Bodyguard” except Kevin Costner wasn’t there and there wasn’t any snow. If you didn’t see that movie, it doesn’t matter because the same or similar scene has been in a lot of other movies.
I needed time to think. Inside the cabin, the fireside chairs faced the fireplace and the rug was impeccably clean and white as snow. The fire flickered giving off a warm glow just like we’ve all seen in the movies. Outside temperature was chilly but inside was just delightful! The coffee was brewing and it smelled like 100% Columbian from an east facing slope. The mugs were right by the pot.
I sat by the fire and just thought about my life. The coffee was delicious, best ever. Not being able to pick up a cup, I don’t know how I could taste it but I knew it was delicious. It seemed real. I began to see things in a different way. Of course Chastity didn’t fall in the shower, and Jake was just being Jake, enjoying an afternoon with a bored woman. My competitors at work, disguised as pranksters, were really devious individuals who were happy to use me as their stepping stool to a higher position. My shipmates had cheated me at cards, and way back in the 6th grade, that teacher really did rig the spelling bee so Mary Beth beat me. It was all too much for me.

My eyes fluttered and went to rest. In a dream state, Nirvana came to me and, let me say she was the best I or anyone else ever had. I’m sorry but even in a story I don’t give out details. Just imagine the best you ever had and then picture that as the cornerstone of a skyscraper. Picture Nirvana as somewhere up on the top ledge of the building. That’s where I was. Nirvana and I rested for what seemed a night. In the morning we sat on the dock in total peace and quiet. I was shocked at how well we communicated in total silence. All people have the ability to do so; we just don’t know how to develop it without a teacher to guide us on our path to enlightenment. The only thing I can equate it to is when you are on a date and it comes to that time when you just look into the other person’s eyes and you just know instinctively that it’s time to lean in and kiss them. No one says a word but both know the time is now and the electricity that tingles through a person is like a 1000-megawatt generator. I felt I was one with Nirvana. By late morning I knew I was truly in love for the first time and I knew what I needed to do to turn my life around; when Nirvana came to me and said: “Bill, this gift to you has just about run it’s course. You are going to return to your normal conscious state soon and be back in your life. Everything you have experienced is real. You have been given just a glimpse of enlightenment. Now you must return and put what you know can happen into your life. You need to realize that when you meditate and discover how to bring enlightenment to bear in your life full time, you are sill on the same plane of existence as before. There’s an old Buddhist saying: “(before enlightenment, wash dishes, carry firewood; after enlightenment, wash dishes, carry firewood.)” Nothing changes on this plane, you just see and understand things differently. It’s your job to make the changes to align yourself with the energy flow of the universe. Then you will put your enlightenment to practice.”
“But Nirvana,” she was gone…

‘Enlightenment’
Chapter 9

I woke up on a ledge about six feet below where I fell from the roadway. I climbed up and started walking back to where Charity was supposed to pick me up. She rolled up a half hour after I got there. She started telling me how miserable her weekend was and how glad she was that it was over.
“I’m supposed to have an interview tomorrow but I can’t go without getting my hair done. Can you give me $60 for the beauty parlor Bill?”
“No I can’t Charity.”
“But Bill, how am I ever supposed to get a job?"
“Well I don’t know Charity, but you’ll need one if you're going to help Jake support the two of you along with his kids.” “Bill, what are you talking about?”
“I think you know. I hope the two of you are happy together.”
“You son-of-a-bitch Bill, I don’t even like Jake, he’s your friend!” She slammed on the brakes and pulled off of the road and yelled, "get out!”
“Fine,” I said. “I’ll walk, just have you and your shit gone when I get home. And tell Jake the next time I see him, I want the $576 dollars he owes me.”
Charity replied, “F-you. Just f-you.”
“No, I think Jake is the one you should be saying that to.”
“After all I did for you Bill, is this how you are going to treat me?”
“That’s my life Charity. It hasn’t exactly been fun, but it has been enlightening.” When I got home, she was gone. All of her clothes, her few personal items and quite a few of mine left with her. I thought to myself that part of the growth phase is learning that things aren’t as all important as we think they are.

‘Enlightenment’
Chapter 10
Epilogue

It’s been a year now since Charity and Jake have been gone. I figured her telling Jake I wanted my money back would send him packing. After my experience, I walked into the boss’s office and told him I quit. He seemed determined to tell me all of the reasons I couldn’t do what I just did. “You’ll lose your house. You’ll starve. You won’t be able to find another job in this town.” I left my job and six days later I received a letter from the EPA. They wanted to buy my house as part of the federal superfund clean-up program. They would acquire all of the homes in the neighborhood and bulldoze them. My real estate agent called that evening and said she felt really bad about selling me that house in an environmental hazard area. I took the EPA offer and walked away. I had $60,000, which was what I had paid for the house.
The boss was right. I didn’t find another job in that town. I left. After visiting with family in St. Louis for a few days, I left, following the sun. I had driven a day and a half when I stopped for lunch in a small town near Denver. I liked the feel of the place and needing to stretch my legs, I took a walk down through the business district. I stopped in front of a small bookshop and looked in to see an inviting little store. I stepped in and the bell on the door chimed. I heard a pleasant voice call out “be with you in a moment.” I picked up a book and leafed through it. In a few seconds a voice from behind asked, “Can I help you find something?” I turned and before me was the same lovely woman, Nirvana, who came to me in my altered state. I’d swear she had a golden aura surrounding her. I asked: “what are you doing out here?”
“Waiting for you to show-up. I took the money the EPA paid me and put some of it down on this store and the rest in the bank, and then just waited for you to show up.”
“But I didn’t even know where I was headed.”
“You’ve taken a few small steps Bill. Are you ready for the rest of the journey into true enlightenment?”
“Does that include you?”
“I think that’s part of the plan.” She winked and asked: “do you want to start today?”
‘I’m yours Nirvana.”
“You always were. You just didn’t know it.”