You readers know that woman for me was Joyce.
At this point I have gone through the first two phases of loss and I am in the final stage of loss, acceptance. A year ago I thought I would never get there, but I am there now. My tears have dried and I am making a life for myself. This is the first time I have ever lived alone. I’m 77 years old and have never lived alone before now. I had my family, but my parents are long gone. My youngest brother has passed away. Two of my three sisters have no use for me, though they once did. My other brother is not interested in being with me. The only sibling that communicates with me is my third sister Mar and I appreciate her, but she lives over 80 miles away so we communicate through email and phone calls. My nephew Patrick lives 136 miles away, so I don’t see him often. Joyce’s sister is in Alabama I believe. I haven’t seen her for years now. We no longer communicate. 2/3 of my life was spent with Joyce. I do have my daughter Annie, granddaughter Hailey and son in law Rhett, but they have their own busy life and that is the way it should be. I am happy for them.
I do have friends here in the apartments and I appreciate having them. That is yet another form of love, but without intimacy. I’m happy to have them. They are close by and I believe I can count on them, should I need to do so. I have friends across the country, but they are far away and they are living their own life, for which I am also happy.
I feel I have a life well lived and I have been blessed to have lived the life I have.
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