220813 Fate

One thing we can’t escape is fate.
We, Joyce and I were born 4 blocks away from each other. We were born 4 months apart. We went to the same places when we were teenagers but had not yet met each other. We were both 17 when we finally met for the first time as we watched the same movie at a drive-in. I was parked next to her car. Oh what a night! We were both raised by like minded parents. We were both strong willed. Both mothers liked me, both fathers loved her. We had our own ideas about everything, but none of those ideas were like minded. Our courtship was far from glamorous and on the verge of collapse several times. I was a hopeless romantic; she was a staunch pragmatist. I was headed to naval service in September. She was headed to college in September. Our paths were set to diverge in a wood. She took the path more traveled while I took the one less traveled. In many stories, that would have been the bitter end for two young people. Late November I graduated from navy boot camp and took a train from Chicago to my home. When I departed the train, there she was dressed in red, right down to her red high-heeled shoes and looking like a million dollars. What I had feared was over, was just beginning. I was intoxicated with love for this young woman who stood before me with a big smile on her face. We were inseparable for my 2 weeks of leave at home. I left on another train for naval aviation electronics training, while she went back to her college studies. I was miserable without her in my life and she was too. I proposed to her on a long distance phone call and she accepted. We were married in church shortly thereafter. Thus began 58 years of marriage. It was like a Hollywood movie, chock full of ups and downs, happiness when together and sadness during the times when the navy kept us apart during the first 11 years, but that gave way to 47 years more of wedded bliss together. That bliss ended in September of 2021 when she departed this earthly plain of existence.

I still have family and friends in my life, people I love and those who love me. I am grateful for that, but only those who have lost the long term love of their life can understand what that loss is like. I can only compare it to being on a ship crossing a calm sea and then suddenly the engines fail; the ship is adrift in an endless sea. Then the sea turns into a boiling cauldron of endless high waves tossing the ship about. There is nothing I can do, but ride out the never ending storm. I have good days that I relish, but the bad days also come creeping back. I have, as yet, no control over that and I don’t like being out of control. Thus is my fate and it is inescapable.