220807 Philosophy

Philosophers talk about purpose and meaning in life.
Here is one definition of a philosopher: A person who seeks meaning, purpose in life, a person who meets trouble with equanimaity in life.
I am no philosopher, but right now I am wondering what my purpose is in life now that Joyce and our parents have passed away. My siblings and my son in law, my daughter and granddaughter are still here, but they are living their lives. I have spent my adult life helping, assisting Joyce and our parents, but the others mentioned above are on their own.
So I sit and wonder what my purpose in life is? I have written about this five times before when I knew I had a purpose, but now I wonder why I am still here? Didn’t I complete my purpose already? I think I have done what I was here to do.
Now I sit here writing, listening to music, watching movies, I practice my yoga, take my daily walks and say hello to neighbors. I ask you, is that a worthy purpose in life? I have volunteered to help others, but that has been rejected by them in most cases. I pray to God every night and tell Him I am ready to go whenever He is willing to take me, but so far I haven’t heard back from Him. I know He is listening to me, but He has yet to take me away from this world, so I sit here writing and wondering why? If He still has a purpose for me, He has yet to let me know. Meanwhile I sit here drinking my meager daily ration of beer and smoking my cigarettes, waiting for a revelation from Him. He has His ways and I will follow. Is the best yet to come? I don't know, but I can’t as yet see what that might be.