Ladies, are you tired of the same old meat market tactics you run into in the local bar scene? Do you need the real deal? Do you need a sensitive, caring guy who can light your fire should the need arise? This guy can light your fire or fix your air conditioner. Yes ladies; he is ‘The Maintenance Guy’.
Once upon a time a damsel in distress looked to a Knight in shining armor to save her from a hazardous situation. In the old west, a fair school marm would ring the school bell if she needed a cowboy on a white horse to gallop up and save the day. But that’s all in centuries past, long before indoor plumbing. Yes I think you know where I’m going with this. The maintenance guy can even do plumbing! Still want the suit in a Lincoln stretch Limousine? Who do you think maintains that Limo? I know you want Mickey Rourke from the movie ‘9 ½ weeks’ to drip the ice cube on your bosom. Do you know who got that freezer running so it would make those ice cubes he used? Yeah, the Maintenance Guy! Ladies, this is the 21st. century! The cowboy on the white horse got very dusty and needed his woman to hand wash those duds in the local creek. The Maintenance Guy can repair automatic washers and dryers. Yes instead of getting all muddy by the stream bank washing clothes for some guy who may ride into the sunset at any time, you could be enjoying a mudpack in the luxury of your climate controlled home while the clothes wash themselves in the newly repaired washer and dryer. Castles were dark and damp. Why was that you ask? Because knights in shining armor couldn’t fix things! The Maintenance guy can patch up a leaky roof and install track lighting.
Today at work the ladies from Human Resources were having some kind of little party for one of their own. They had some decorations that they could not assemble alone. What did they do in their time of need? That’s right, they called the Maintenance Guy. Okay, I know you are still holding out for romance. Well look no further! This is just one of the Maintenance Guys.
Is that romantic? You bet it is! When these guys ring your doorbell they are armed with balloons, chocolates and roses. And if your doorbell doesn’t work, they can fix it! Don’t let those powerful tools on their belts fool you; these guys are every bit as sensitive as any Knight in shining armor ever was.
You start dating a Maintenance Guy and your house will start taking on a shine that will separate you from the rest of the neighborhood. Your friends and neighbors will envy you. All of your lights will work. Your appliances will all work. Your house will be the freshly painted one on the block. The ladies in the neighborhood will stop and stare as your Maintenance Guy opens the door of your car for you as you leave on your dream date. But you be careful, they’ll be knocking on your door looking for that Maintenance Guy. They will be asking you if the Maintenance Guy can just look at something and tell them if it can be repaired. Your clue will be the next-door lady knocking on your door in a negligee set needing a moment with your Maintenance Guy mid-day. Yeah, like her washing machine broke mid-day with all of her other clothes in it.
If you’re lucky enough to find your mister right, your Maintenance Guy, you hold him closer than a rope burn, or whatever you call those love bites that will start showing up on your neck. And you watch those neighbor women’s necks; he’s a Maintenance Guy, not a Preacher. He is mighty, but he is human and subject to temptation. Lest you forget, re-read the last two sentences in the paragraph above. Yes ladies, heaven is finding the right Maintenance Guy.
So when you’re tired of the rest, when you want the best, if you’re ready to put one to the test, call ‘Maintenance Guy Mating Service’ oh I mean Dating Service. Just pick up the phone and dial 64-269, that’s OH BOY! You give us the 411 on you and we’ll 911 a Maintenance Guy to your 1020 quicker than you can count down to lift off. Don’t live in the past any longer. Don’t wait for some 16th. Or 19th. Century guy. Step up, step all the way up to a 21st. century Maintenance Guy. You’ll be glad you did.
I have been thinking for a long time on how I might write something to honor the maintenance guys at work. These guys are always there and can make anything work. They are pretty quiet and rarely get the appreciation they deserve. The fellow in the picture is Kelly Hampton. He is a smart and handsome fellow. All summer long while we work in the cool air conditioning he is up on the roof in 110-degree heat tweaking the units so we are comfortable. When it is 0 degrees out, he is up on the roof keeping the heating system working for our comfort. He and his trusty co-worker Bill Taylor brave the elements daily for our comfort. And sorry girls, they are in reality both married. These are just two of the maintenance guys who do a great job every day.
I wish you peace, love and joy in your life.
Bill
Copyright Bill Weber 2006-2019 and beyond.
Once upon a time a damsel in distress looked to a Knight in shining armor to save her from a hazardous situation. In the old west, a fair school marm would ring the school bell if she needed a cowboy on a white horse to gallop up and save the day. But that’s all in centuries past, long before indoor plumbing. Yes I think you know where I’m going with this. The maintenance guy can even do plumbing! Still want the suit in a Lincoln stretch Limousine? Who do you think maintains that Limo? I know you want Mickey Rourke from the movie ‘9 ½ weeks’ to drip the ice cube on your bosom. Do you know who got that freezer running so it would make those ice cubes he used? Yeah, the Maintenance Guy! Ladies, this is the 21st. century! The cowboy on the white horse got very dusty and needed his woman to hand wash those duds in the local creek. The Maintenance Guy can repair automatic washers and dryers. Yes instead of getting all muddy by the stream bank washing clothes for some guy who may ride into the sunset at any time, you could be enjoying a mudpack in the luxury of your climate controlled home while the clothes wash themselves in the newly repaired washer and dryer. Castles were dark and damp. Why was that you ask? Because knights in shining armor couldn’t fix things! The Maintenance guy can patch up a leaky roof and install track lighting.
Today at work the ladies from Human Resources were having some kind of little party for one of their own. They had some decorations that they could not assemble alone. What did they do in their time of need? That’s right, they called the Maintenance Guy. Okay, I know you are still holding out for romance. Well look no further! This is just one of the Maintenance Guys.
Is that romantic? You bet it is! When these guys ring your doorbell they are armed with balloons, chocolates and roses. And if your doorbell doesn’t work, they can fix it! Don’t let those powerful tools on their belts fool you; these guys are every bit as sensitive as any Knight in shining armor ever was.
You start dating a Maintenance Guy and your house will start taking on a shine that will separate you from the rest of the neighborhood. Your friends and neighbors will envy you. All of your lights will work. Your appliances will all work. Your house will be the freshly painted one on the block. The ladies in the neighborhood will stop and stare as your Maintenance Guy opens the door of your car for you as you leave on your dream date. But you be careful, they’ll be knocking on your door looking for that Maintenance Guy. They will be asking you if the Maintenance Guy can just look at something and tell them if it can be repaired. Your clue will be the next-door lady knocking on your door in a negligee set needing a moment with your Maintenance Guy mid-day. Yeah, like her washing machine broke mid-day with all of her other clothes in it.
If you’re lucky enough to find your mister right, your Maintenance Guy, you hold him closer than a rope burn, or whatever you call those love bites that will start showing up on your neck. And you watch those neighbor women’s necks; he’s a Maintenance Guy, not a Preacher. He is mighty, but he is human and subject to temptation. Lest you forget, re-read the last two sentences in the paragraph above. Yes ladies, heaven is finding the right Maintenance Guy.
So when you’re tired of the rest, when you want the best, if you’re ready to put one to the test, call ‘Maintenance Guy Mating Service’ oh I mean Dating Service. Just pick up the phone and dial 64-269, that’s OH BOY! You give us the 411 on you and we’ll 911 a Maintenance Guy to your 1020 quicker than you can count down to lift off. Don’t live in the past any longer. Don’t wait for some 16th. Or 19th. Century guy. Step up, step all the way up to a 21st. century Maintenance Guy. You’ll be glad you did.
I have been thinking for a long time on how I might write something to honor the maintenance guys at work. These guys are always there and can make anything work. They are pretty quiet and rarely get the appreciation they deserve. The fellow in the picture is Kelly Hampton. He is a smart and handsome fellow. All summer long while we work in the cool air conditioning he is up on the roof in 110-degree heat tweaking the units so we are comfortable. When it is 0 degrees out, he is up on the roof keeping the heating system working for our comfort. He and his trusty co-worker Bill Taylor brave the elements daily for our comfort. And sorry girls, they are in reality both married. These are just two of the maintenance guys who do a great job every day.
I wish you peace, love and joy in your life.
Bill
Copyright Bill Weber 2006-2019 and beyond.
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