Time Traveler

I was out this morning, sitting on one of the benches just inside Walmart as a lot of other old people do. Another old man, who was dressed in strange-looking clothing that looked rather futuristic sat down beside me and began talking. He seemed curious about mundane current events, things which I thought were known to just about everyone these days. We conversed for several minutes until he got up and said he was going to browse around in the store. He walked away and then I noticed he had left a newspaper he had been carrying. Joyce had finished her shopping and came wheeling out a cart full of groceries and more importantly, more beer for me. I picked up the paper the old man had left and we headed home. I opened it as I cracked open my first beer of the day and this is what I saw:

The World News

September 19, 2051

This story just in today. The best human brains have been secretly removed from hospital patients for four years now (sometimes days or weeks before death) and stored in plasma tanks where the synapses that connect the brain tissue are stimulated with growth hormones to extend those connectors out of the tanks and then affix them to nano bio processors so those human brains can directly reason and solve the world’s problems through computer-driven plans.

Initially there were a few problems where the original owners of the brains were secretly demagogues and those brains were filling the world computer system with harrowing information and plans for a future where one joint mindset controlled all of mankind.

The nine currently serving presidents of the U.S., President Harold of the NRA, James of GM, Smith of the Pentagon, Jones of Wall Street, Harris of Pharma, Everly of Coca-Cola, Grimm of ADM and Freemont of Exon (the nine who have recently abolished the two-party system, congress, the senate and the supreme court) reported on ultra vision last night that those few bad brains have been removed from the system’s processor bank and that the plans to eliminate poverty are back on track once again. Furthermore the the war on the abominables is progressing well and they should be eliminated within the next decade. Wages will be increased as quickly as possible after the war is won. It is the duty of all to sacrifice for the war effort.

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Well it is comforting for me to know things are turning out well by 2051. I hope I meet another traveler and find out what happened in the following years. It should be interesting.