250622 When The Bean Counters Took Over.

mobile theme The economy slumped in 2007, businesses faltered with the general recession. It was like a huge series of dominoes falling in an endless row. Business scandals became front-page news. Large accounting firms had been acting as advisors in addition to being accountants. The image of the meek accountant in coke bottle glasses sitting behind a desk with a stack of ledgers had long since passed. The new accountant was a rugged athletic looking stud cloaked in an Armani silk suit and speeding around town in high output sport sedans. No longer did women scorn the myopic nerds of the past. M.B.A. graduates were more sought than N.F.L. players. But the business slow down caught hundreds of newly wealthy accountants in a downward spiral.

Jake LeMay was the lead accountant for Telecom Circuit Boards Inc. Jake had been making $3.5million a year in his combined role as accountant and advisor. Telecom was a worldwide manufacturer and had been in an updraft for 10 years, springing from a $10 million a year company to a $10 billion a year behemoth. Jake’s compensation had followed with the company’s growth. But now suddenly a reverse slide had begun. Jake wasn’t ready to live the way he had in the past. At first he advised the company to lay off a large contingent of workers. But the world economy caused Telecom’s customer base to collapse. The orders slowed, and so did Telecom’s fortunes, and thereby Jake’s compensation.

Then Jake advised the company to turn off the machines and lights. Still the tide continued to go out and take Jake’s livelihood with it. The next step was a cutback on the timesheets of all of the hourly employees. Yet the slide continued.

Jake was in a panic! He knew that another layoff was all that would stem the tide removing his personal cash income. But the last layoff had depleted the unemployment compensation pool. So another layoff would cost the company money to replenish the pool and provide for the workers.

Jake was desperate. He needed to stop the red ink so he could maintain his lifestyle. Then the idea came to him. It was cheaper to gas them! He would arrange for a meeting and bring in all of the workers who would be laid-off, and when all were gathered in the hall, he would arrange for a gas leak to fill the room and asphyxiate them. The deaths would eliminate replenishing the unemployment pool and keep Telecom’s cash at home and of course in his pocket.On the day of the meeting Jake was there and ready. In a matter of minutes he would be flush with cash.

Just as Jake was twisting the lever to fill the room with the deadly gas, he heard a whooshing sound and felt the rapid air movement from behind him. He turned and was staring directly into the eyes of the workingman’s hero. The caped crusader’s bright yellow M reflected in Jake’s eyes and filled him with terror! A swift jab to the solar plexus followed by a left to the chin and a roundhouse kick to the knee knocked Jake to the floor like a tumbling sack of potatoes. Maintenance Man quickly slapped the handcuffs on Jake and radioed for the local police to pick up the garbage. Maintenance Man assisted the local P.D. in loading Jake into the patrol car and then sauntered on back to work.

The workers in the meeting and the management staff in attendance never even had a clue what happened in the adjoining utility area. No one in attendance knew how close they were to not only losing their jobs but also their lives. The big guy in the blue cape with the bright yellow M calmly went back to his job keeping the workplace at a comfortable and safe temperature. Hundreds of families while suffering from unemployment that night were at least together. And they never knew how close they were to total tragedy.

The big guy, always in the background had done his job one more time. May God bless you Maintenance Man.